Manners 101 Working In The Elder Care Industry

June 30, 2008

Good old-fashion manners are essential when working in the elder care industry.

The average age group of a senior receiving direct services or care directly is from 78 to 86. Typically, this is a widowed woman. In her generation, manners reflected respect and honor, for oneself and for others. There were definite ‘do’s and don’ts’

Practicing good manners will go a long way toward creating an overall atmosphere of mutual trust and respect in your work place. This in turns creates a more pleasant working environment for every employee. An employee that feels respected translates in to higher employee retention. A senior client that feels respected translates in to higher client retention.

My pet peeve is the acceptance of a lower standard of treatment based on low income, race, and lower education. Do you treat a wealthy senior with more respect than a low-income senior? Do you treat your cleaning staff with less respect than your administrator? Do you treat those that are different from your skin color or ethnic background with less concern than you do those that are just like you?

Take a few moments during the day, observe your staff interacting with one another, and then observe the interaction your staff displays when working with your elderly clients or how they greet visitors to your place of business. You may find that the lack of good old-fashion manners is the root cause for poor employee relations and for unhappy seniors.

Working within the elder care industry is not for everyone. You genuinely must love older adults. Your sincerity and concern for our elderly will come across and good manners will not only make the senior feel wanted and respected, but it will make your day far more rewarding.

The Essentials to Good Manner Skills -

1. Lead by example: If you are attempting to bring good manners in to your workplace - you must first do what you ask of your employees.

This is an excerpt on Good Manners 101 - Continue reading at http://www.qualityeldercare.com/manners.html

Barbara Mascio is the founder of Quality Elder Care and of the Seniors Approve Free Web Community. See http://www.qualityeldercare.com and http://www.seniorsapprove.com

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Boy Do We Get The Garbage

June 27, 2008

For the most part I view our family as the typical nuclear family.. reflecting the personal and practical living priorities of the times we live in. It’s certainly not reflective of the family in which I was raised, but those times were different. The parents of us boomers not only had their Depression Era work ethic but also a strong family ethic; dad worked and mom maintained the home front. Life seemed more efficient. But as us boomers aged and cut through the old social norms like a swelling juggernaut we defined our own life priorities and social living standards. And one of the many by-products of that ’swelling’ has been.. well, more garbage.

No, that’s not a metaphor for the political harrangs coming from our elected officials nor the explanation given by the natural gas company in my gas bill explaining why the bill has doubled .. I’m talking about real garbage; the stuff we toss in garbage bags. I was raised in a family of four and I am currently a parental unit in a family of five. When I think back of the amount of garbage generated then compared to now one would think the additional person increased family garbage 10 fold. Obviously it’s not that the extra person has made that much difference but rather the lifestyle change in our current culture.

We honestly generate in our household one of those lawn-size garbage bags full of trash each day. One day as I was passing through the kitchen I noticed the overflowing trash container.. you know which one it is, that little plastic thing that can hold two plastic milk jugs and a Campbell’s soup can (I once entertained the marketing of an industrial 55 gallon drum with designer trim for kitchen use? but that didn’t fit under the sink too well). Anyway, as I stood there for a moment pondering which kid I was going to chastise, I surveyed the contents. Interestingly I found there was very little true organic refuse. I mean, in my day mother compacted meat bones, coffee grounds, dish scrapings, cooking residue, and a few wrappers into a half gallon milk container then sent me out to the trash can in the alley. This stuff I was looking at was essentially paper packaging - daughter’s macaroni and cheese box.. a couple cardboard frozen pizza wrappings, a half gallon orange juice container (the same kind of container mother used for a full day of garbage), a bevy of unrecognizable wrappings, a Chef Boy-R-De ravioli can (large size), a Burger King paper cup (large), a handful of the day’s junk mail, an old Time magazine, and a couple microwave popcorn bags.. and this was only noontime!

Well, like most families these days we seldom cook because everyone goes their separate ways and both parents work. So our garbage reflects the fast food, prepared food, instant food, microwave food, lifestyle. As I picked up the overflowed paper trash I couldn’t help but sigh at what we have given up as a family unit? I mean, well beyond the lack of a home-cooked meal. A supper-table closeness, a proper diet, increased spending, are just a few of the compromises we made.

So, I filled the bag, packed it down, tied it off? and did what I did many years ago for my mother; I took the trash out back and tossed it into a bigger container.. then forgot about it.

About The Author

Doug Burkland is degreed in the behavioral sciences and writes articles regarding family life, parenting, human sexuality, entrepreneurship, and current events. An aging baby boomer raised in the Mid-West and having liberal-conservative attitudes, Doug is an admitted ’survivor’ of public education who thinks he has something to say that people might like to read; sometimes using a bit of healthy satire, mixed with friendly sarcasm, and at times tempered with thought provoking common sense. Along with being an entrepreneur (having had three businesses of his own), Doug has a broad perspective on balancing life and family. http://www.dougburkland.com or email [mailto:doug@dougburkland.com]doug@dougburkland.com

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The Most Costly Expense Of All

June 27, 2008

Do you think you have a lot of bills? If so, you are probably
right. But have you considered the bill that costs you the
most each month?

On average your housing costs probably run about 30% of your
take home pay. Your other bills which include utilities, credit
cards, etc. also run about 30% of your take home pay. It
probably takes another 30% to run your household and if you
are lucky you can stash the remaining 10% in a savings account.

What are your percentages? Do you know? That’s the problem.
Most people run their budget out of their wallet.

There is that hideous word “Budget”. Many people compare
operating their finances with a budget to having a ball and
chain attached to their wallet. They won’t be able to get
anything they want for the rest of their lives.

Let’s see if the following scenario fits you:

You get paid.

You write out your bills.

You give your spouse some money.

You wait for next payday to get some more money so you can
do the same thing.

You may not realize it but if you are doing this you are
spending a lot more money than you need to.

Most of the people I work with have no idea how much money
they make or how much they owe. While money may be important
to them it is way to much trouble to learn how to manage it.
This is the very reason there were $1.5 million bankruptcies
in this country last year.

I can almost guarantee that if you are trying to run your
finances like the scenario above at some point you are going
to run into problems. It simply can’t work.

The main reason for this is that you never get a broad picture
of where you are financially. You pay the bills and hope you
have enough money to buy your groceries and put gas in the
car until next payday.

Most people can add and subtract. That’s all there is to a
budget. If you aren’t willing to take the time then living
paycheck to paycheck will be with you the rest of your life.

I call this “Financial Complacency” which simply means that
you know you need to manage your money better but aren’t
willing to do what’s necessary. Here are a few excuses I hear
to justify this:

I don’t make enough money.

I owe too much to set up a budget.

I’m not good with numbers.

I just don’t have the time to keep up with a budget.

I can’t get my spouse to work with me.

Do any of these sound familiar?

Well, that’s the problem but what about a solution. The
solution is simple no matter what your financial situation
is.

First, you must find out where you stand now. That could be
as simple as writing down your income and bills and expenses
on a piece of notebook paper. Then subtract your expenses from
your income. Make sure to include your household expenses
(groceries, car gas, etc.) in your expenses.

Now look at the numbers. Do you have anything left over? If
so what are you going to do with it? That’s the next step. If
you don’t then you need to consider cutting some of those
expenses.

Now you need to decide what you really want your money to do
for you. Set your goals! This could be saving for your
retirement, buying a home, college for the kids, getting a
new car or any number of things. That’s why you have to decide
for yourself. There are just too many variables for someone
else to help you.

My first suggestion is that if you have credit card debt you
look for a way to pay them off and stop using them. Realizing
that goal could make your other goals more likely to succeed.

Now it’s time to set up that dreaded budget. Where are you going
to find the time and desire to write everything down that you
spend and all the other stuff that goes along with keeping a
budget? The answer is that you don’t have to!

One of the biggest myths about budgeting is that you need to
keep up with it everyday. That’s the reason so many people
refuse to try.

It does take a little time to get your budget setup. There are
a lot of things that need to be considered. But once your
finances are down on paper there is no reason to work on it
except on payday. You will find a link to a free budget like
this in the bio of this article.

If you believe that managing your money is to difficult or just
too much trouble consider the alternative. Not managing your
money is probably robbing you of thousands of dollars a year
and could lead to financial disaster.

Terry Rigg is the author of Living Within Your Means - The Easy
Way http://www.homemoneyhelp.com/ebookadpage.html and editor
of The FREE Budget Stretcher Newsletter and Budget Stretcher
web site http://www.homemoneyhelp.com. He has 25 years of
experience counseling individuals and families concerning their
personal finances.

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They Loved Us

June 26, 2008

Our parents called them “the Bible Club girls,” even though Hazel Simonton and Jean Clark had strands of grey sprinkled through their dark hair by the late 1940s. That’s how people referred to women, especially single women, back then.

Every Wednesday after school, the Bible Club girls came to our church in the Bitterroot Valley of Montana. The pastor had built a fire in the cast-iron furnace in the back corner of the church, but the building was still bitter cold when we arrived at three-thirty. We perched on the first two rows of cold wooden pews, little kids with rubber boots, winter coats leaking dirty mittens, stocking caps, and, frequently, cold sores and runny noses, which noses, if they were wiped at all, were wiped on the dirty mittens.

Miss Simonton and Miss Clark knew all our names. And remembered them forever. We could meet them in a store in Missoula ten, fifteen years later to be greeted by name and flooded with love.

Because they loved us. Truly did. And we warmed to that love the way little plants do to sunshine.

After the class session was over, Miss Simonton and Miss Clark asked, “Who needs a ride home?”

A forest of hands went up. Mine usually didn’t, because Mamma usually sat in the back of the church, ready to take all children from around Willow Creek. But sometimes she couldn’t come, and I was one of the children who piled into the Bible Club girls’ little car. I sat up front, as I got carsick, and six or seven children crowded into the back, poking and pinching each other. “Who’s closest?” Miss Simonton would ask.

“Me,” a hand went up. And we were led through mile after mile of icy dirt road with ruts frozen into place, past cold, forlorn farmhouses and barns and bare trees and chilly looking cows and horses with long winter coats, while the snow-covered Rocky Mountain peaks looked down at us in the deepening gloom.

“Turn here,” a little voice would command from the back seat, as the car jolted and jumped and skidded over the roads. “And here.”

Gradually the crowd in back dwindled. Until there were just a little girl and a little boy. A freckle-faced boy with tears streaming down his face. “Why is he crying?”

“Because he’s lost,” said the little girl solemnly. “He doesn’t know where he lives.”

“Do you know where he lives?”

“Nope.”

“Does anybody in here know where he lives?”

“Nope.” (The little boy began to sob deeply and hopelessly.)

“Don’t cry, sweetie. We’ll find your home.”

Not the highlight of the little boy’s week or theirs, but eventually, after hours of travel, the little lost boy was home again.

Why did they do it?

Not for money. They came West from New Jersey with just $40 per month pledged to them. But their idea was never to get, but to give. The things they did, they did for love: the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Which love they poured out on all of us, year after year.

They died in the 1990s in Montana, which had become their true home. Shirley Rasmussen Downing describes Hazel Simonton’s death:

“Cathy called me in Arizona and told me that Miss Simonton had just passed away . . . on the hospital heart floor. At 4:00 A.M. she spent ONE HOUR talking with Miss Simonton, as Miss Simonton wanted to tell her about me — the Daily Vacation Bible School years and helping at camp, all the many, many verses I had learned at Bible School, and the Bible drills I had won.

“Then, after her long visit with Cathy, Cathy left for a bit, returned to check on her, and she had died.”

How like her to die thinking of one of her children — for we were all her girls and boys.

Her family back East sent a nephew to represent them at the funeral. He arrived at the church early and was seated in a front pew in the almost empty auditorium. He had said he couldn’t give a speech, but the pastor didn’t know that and called on him. He bravely went to the front of the auditorium and turned around. And gaped to find the church now packed, the balcony filled, and people standing at the rear.

All the little boys and girls Hazel Simonton and Jean Clark had loved all those years had grown up and had children and grandchildren, and hundreds of them were there that day to show their love and respect.

Because Hazel Simonton and Jean Clark loved us. And we loved them right back.

About The Author

Janette Blackwell is the author of a Christian mystery novel and a hilarious cookbook, “Steamin’ Down the Tracks with Viola Hockenberry,” to be found at foodandfiction.com.

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The Toxic Danger Of Fabric Softener And Dryer Sheets

June 26, 2008

Many people will remember a famous TV ad where a woman races to her washing machine, fabric softener in hand, only to arrive just as the wash ends. This woman who “forgot to ad the fabric softener” was actually doing herself and her family a favor.

Although they may make your clothes feel soft and smell fresh, fabric softener and dryer sheets are some of the most toxic products around. And chances are that the staggering 99.8 percent of Americans who use common commercial detergents, fabric softeners, bleaches, and stain removers would think twice if they knew they contained chemicals that could cause cancer and brain damage.

Laundry

Here is a list of just some of the chemicals found in fabric softeners and dryer sheets:

* Benzyl acetate: Linked to pancreatic cancer

* Benzyl Alcohol: Upper respiratory tract irritant

* Ethanol: On the Environmental Protection Agency’s (EPA) Hazardous Waste list and can cause central nervous system disorders

* Limonene: Known carcinogen

* A-Terpineol: Can cause respiratory problems, including fatal edema, and central nervous system damage

* Ethyl Acetate: A narcotic on the EPA’s Hazardous Waste list

* Camphor: Causes central nervous system disorders

* Chloroform: Neurotoxic, anesthetic and carcinogenic

* Linalool: A narcotic that causes central nervous system disorders

* Pentane: A chemical known to be harmful if inhaled

So how could products with pretty names like Soft Ocean Mist, Summer Orchard and April Fresh be so dangerous?

The chemicals in fabric softeners are pungent and strong smelling — so strong that they require the use of these heavy fragrances (think 50 times as much fragrance) just to cover up the smells. Furthermore, synthetic fabrics, which are the reason fabric softeners were created in the first place, do not smell good either when heated in a dryer or heated by our bodies … hence the need for even more hefty fragrances.

In other words, remove all the added fragrance that endears people to fabric softeners and — like the cliche wolf in sheep’s clothing — the real smells of the chemical-laced fabric softener and the synthetic fabrics they were designed around may prompt people to shoot their laundry machines and be done with it.

Are “Soft” Clothes Worth It?

Fabric softeners are made to stay in your clothing for long periods of time. As such, chemicals are slowly released either into the air for you to inhale or onto your skin for you to absorb. Dryer sheets are particularly noxious because they are heated in the dryer and the chemicals are released through dryer vents and out into the environment. Health effects from being exposed to the chemicals in fabric softeners include:

* Central nervous system disorders

* Headaches

* Nausea

* Vomiting

* Dizziness

* Blood pressure reduction

* Irritation to skin, mucus membranes and respiratory tract

* Pancreatic cancer

Baby Fabric

Soften Your Clothes Safely With These Tips

Even if you don’t feel the effects of these chemicals today, they can affect you gradually over time, and children, whose systems are still developing, are particularly at risk. There’s really no reason to expose yourself to these risky chemicals when natural alternatives exist. Not only are they safer for you, your family and the environment, but they’re much more economical too:

* Add a quarter cup of baking soda to wash cycle to soften fabric

* Add a quarter cup of white vinegar to rinse to soften fabric and eliminate cling

* Check out your local health food store for a natural fabric softener that uses a natural base like soy instead of chemicals

It’s likely that fabric softeners and dryer sheets aren’t the only toxic products in your home. Many household products that consumers regard as safe are also full of toxic chemicals. Our past articles on PEG Compounds in Cosmetics and Phenols in Common Household Cleansers are two of the all-time most popular articles on SixWise.com and will make you more aware of the pervasiveness of harmful chemicals that can be eliminated from your home.

From the FREE SixWise.com e-newsletter, the Web’s #1 most read newsletter with original articles in all 6 areas of life leading to complete wellness.

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The Fugitive

June 25, 2008

Where are the dogs of yesteryear? They all seem to be some breed or another these days. They never used to be. Back in the forties, we had dogs that LEANED in one direction or another. Or maybe two or three directions at once. But we never went out and bought a specific brand of dog. Why would you buy a dog when the neighbors were giving away perfectly good pups for free, along with a jar of peaches and maybe some string beans?

It has always been hard to earn a living farming, and the animals on our Montana farm all had to have a use. The cats earned their living by catching the mice that ate the grain. The dogs earned their living, Daddy told us kids, by bringing in the cows at milking time.

Our dogs tended not to be real good at bringing in the cows, but we kept them anyway. Maybe because Daddy had a soft heart — which he did — but mainly, I think, because the dogs had a better understanding of what they were there for than we children did:

The dogs thought they were there to bark at every single car that went by.

Back when one or two cars came by in a day, we were glad to know that someone was coming down our hill, and, unless it was time for the mailman, we checked to see whose car it was.

The forties went by, then the fifties, and the number of cars increased. We no longer checked to see who it was. Which was not the fault of the dogs: they still barked at every single car.

By the sixties, I had left home but came back for vacations. And during one summer vacation I found out why we really needed that dog.

“There’s someone hiding in our shack,” said Daddy. “Whatever you do, don’t go up there. Don’t even go near it.”

The shack, which probably was built as a homesteader’s shack, was at the top of the hill by our house. It had one main room with a table and chairs, a cupboard with a few dishes, a wood stove, and a double bed. An outdoor toilet out back beckoned with open door.

In the forties and fifties, Grandma cleaned the shack each June. She washed the dishes in the cupboard, washed all the patchwork quilts on the beds, and put fresh kerosene in the lamp. All to prepare for the workers who came to hoe our sugar beets, under a contract between the Mexican government and the sugar beet company. Under that contract a good worker could make fifty dollars a day: excellent wages in the forties and fifties.

By the late sixties, Daddy no longer grew sugar beets, and the shack had for years lain empty. Then our neighbor Nina Davis telephoned. “Have you got someone in your shack across the road from us?” she asked. “Because we’re seeing a light in there at night.”

“No. No one’s supposed to be in there,” said Mamma. But neither our family nor the Davises went to the shack to investigate, nor did anyone suggest calling the sheriff. The Davises were also native Montanans who went by the same code of behavior we did. I’d learned about this code when I was little: one of our neighbors had a practice of stealing from other neighbors. “Why don’t we tell the sheriff?” I asked.

“If he got arrested, he might or might not get convicted. And if he got convicted, he’d get maybe six months in jail,” said Mamma. “And when he got out of jail, he’d come back to our neighborhood to live. And one night our barn would burn down. Or maybe our house. Or someone would shoot our cows or maybe even us. Something. So we leave that situation alone.”

Now that the rest of the country has discovered Montana and taken over a good chunk of it (the goodest chunk, in fact), people no longer think that way. The Bitterroot Valley has five times the population it had in my childhood. The sheriff has deputies, and according to the local newspaper they are busy day and night responding to complaints of barking dogs, domestic violence, and petty theft.

But, during that week in the late sixties, we and the Davises kept watch on the shack and did what we had been taught to do: nothing. “Look!” said Daddy, as our car drove slowly by one night. We looked, and, sure enough, a dim, grey light shone through the shack’s window, which window was pretty dirty now that Grandma no longer gave it her attention. “He’s lit the kerosene lamp.”

“Must be reading in there,” said Mamma softly.

That week we locked the doors of our house every night — something we had never done before — and Daddy slept with his pistol close at hand.

In case the dog barked in the middle of the night.

So that was why we’d put up with all that barking all those years, I realized. That and our family’s soft hearts and, where some of those dogs were concerned, our soft heads as well.

“The Davises tell me they haven’t seen a light in that shack for three nights,” Daddy said a few days later. “I’m going up with my pistol and investigate.”

He went up at noonday, stood like a Western lawman with his back to one side of the door, gun ready. He suddenly whirled to face the shack and kicked the door open.

Silence.

He went inside, gun still at the ready. But the shack was empty. Our fugitive had fugited, leaving behind only a couple of well worn detective magazines and a pile of cigarette butts. And an unmade bed. Sure proof he hadn’t been brought up right, you bet.

And, in case you wonder, Daddy didn’t take the dog when he reconnoitered around the shack that day. Daddy was pretty fond of that little dog, and he didn’t want him to get hurt.

About The Author

Janette Blackwell is the author of a Christian mystery novel and a hilarious cookbook, “Steamin’ Down the Tracks with Viola Hockenberry,” to be found at foodandfiction.com.

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The 6 Most Dangerous Appliances In Your House

June 24, 2008

At a time when homeland security ranks high on many Americans’ safety lists, it’s ironic that a major cause of deaths in the United States occurs right in our own homes: Deaths from unintentional injuries.

According to a series of new Home Safety Council-funded studies conducted at the University of North Carolina Injury Prevention Research Center, the most up-to-date statistics available, 18,048 people died due to unintentional home injuries each year in the United States between 1992 and 1999. And in 1998, 12 million people were injured at home to the extent they required medical attention.

Many of these injuries stem from poisonings, falls and fires, but there is another source of danger in your home that you may not have noticed: appliances. The following home appliances can indeed pose a risk to your health if you don’t take caution and use them safely.

1. Space Heaters

The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) estimates that space heaters are the source of 21,800 home fires every year, and about 300 people die annually as a result of the related fires. Other concerns with space heaters include natural gas leaks, carbon monoxide poisoning, burns and electric shock. To keep safe and still enjoy the added warmth that a space heater can provide:

* Keep heaters at least three feet from walls, bedding, clothing, pets and people

* Turn the heater off when you leave the room or when you go to sleep for the night

* Don’t leave a portable heater running unattended

* Never dry socks or gloves on the heater

* Don’t use extension cords with electrical space heaters

For more information, CPSC offers a free booklet titled “What You Should Know about Space Heaters,” available at www.cpsc.gov.

2. Gas/Electric Stoves/Ovens

Both gas and electric stoves/ovens can cause burns and fires. Be sure to keep stovetops clear of food crumbs that could catch fire as well as other flammable objects like dish towels-and never leave a stove unattended!

3. Clothes Dryers

How often do you forget to clean the lint filter in your dryer? It’s an honest mistake, but one that could cause a fire. According to CPSC, about 15,500 fires, 10 deaths and 10 injuries are associated with clothes dryers each year, so always remember to clean the lint screen as often as possible. Not only is this safer, but it will also keep your dryer running more efficiently. Other safe dryer tips include:

* Never leave the dryer running when you’re not at home

* Vent the dryer to the outdoors (not to a wall or attic)

* Don’t put synthetic fabrics, plastic, rubber or foam into a dryer (they retain heat, which can cause a fire)

4. Dishwashers

Dishwashers are ripe with hidden dangers that are especially dangerous to kids: scalding water, sharp utensils and moving parts that tiny hands may try to grab. If you have small children, make sure you don’t leave them unattended with a running dishwasher. And, as an adult, be careful when opening a dishwasher-the steam that comes out can be extremely hot!

5. Electric Mixers

It goes without saying that you shouldn’t put your hands anywhere near a running mixer blade, but this also goes for spoons and other kitchen utensils that you may be tempted to use (they can easily be broken and the shards can hit you in the face). Another danger? Cleaning the blades should be done with extreme caution-they’re extremely sharp!

6. Irons

Young kids can quickly be burned by a hot iron-and one study found that 74 percent of such burns occurred among children who were supervised! According to Michael Carius, M.D., chairman of the emergency department at Norwalk Hospital in Connecticut:

“It’s usually the hands that get burned, because kids touch the irons, and kids often don’t let go when something is hot, so they end up with second-degree burns, which blister. These warrant medical attention; they are potentially a source of infection, which can lead to scarring and loss of function.”

Always take care to turn off the iron immediately when it’s not in use, and remember that it will still be hot, and therefore a potential danger, while it’s cooling.

For more home safety tips, don’t miss another of SixWise.com’s safe-living article, The Six Silent Killers in Your Home: How to Detect and Eliminate Them.

From the FREE SixWise.com e-newsletter, the Web’s #1 most read newsletter with original articles in all 6 areas of life leading to complete wellness.

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How To Grieve A Tragedy

June 24, 2008

Bad things happen to good people. Have you lost your job or are facing bankruptcy? Has a cherished relationship ended or you have gone through a divorce? Maybe you received diagnosis of a serious health problem. Or maybe you are mourning the loss of a loved one. Unfortunately, these painful events are part of life.

If you have to endure such a tragedy, maybe you can find solace in your friends and in your faith. There is no way to completely avoid the pain of a tragic event, but I offer you a way to work through the pain. If a friend or loved one is grieving, you can pass this message on to them.

Your should deal with the grief in three phases. You should carry on each phase for exactly 21 days before moving on to the next phase. Why 21 days? Because studies have shown that if an individual does the same thing for 21 consecutive days, it becomes a habit. That is the amount of time required to make a permanent life change.

Phase 1: Don’t think about the event that is causing your grief. You may be forced to think about it in some way in order to take care of business related to the event. But otherwise don’t think about it for the first 21 days. If the event comes to mind, think to yourself “I don’t want to think about this right now”, and dismiss the thought from your mind.

Every time the tragic event enters your mind, think “I don’t want to think about this right now”, and force yourself to think about something else. Usually friends and family will not be a problem because they will avoid bringing up the subject. For the first 21 days, keep pushing thoughts of the event out of your mind.

Eventually you will need to mourn, it’s unavoidable. In Phase 2, you should think of nothing but the tragic event. How can this help? Even though you forcefully prevented the event from entering your conscious thoughts for the first 21 days, your subconscious mind was grieving. Now you need to deal with it on a conscious level.

You will be able to grieve with less pain now because your subconscious mind has already dealt with it. You can’t put the tragedy behind you unless you deal with it on a conscious level. For the next 21 days, force yourself to focus on the tragic event.

If the tragedy is a broken relationship, think about the life you could have had if things worked out the way you dreamed. If the tragedy is the death of a loved one, think about the moments of your lives together. Focus entirely on how much that individual meant to you.

Phase 3: It’s time to move forward. For the next 21 days, think only of your future life and changes you will need to make. Plan your new life. What changes do you need to make to carry on under your new circumstances?

Unfortunately, painful events are part of life. Bad things happen, but life moves on. My plan doesn’t let you totally avoid the grief of a tragedy, and not letting yourself grieve would not be healthy anyway. I promise you, no matter what the loss, in the end, the human spirit will always survive.

Permission is granted for the below article to forward, reprint, distribute, use for ezine, newsletter, website, offer as free bonus or part of a product for sale as long as no changes are made and the byline, copyright, and the resource box below is included.

* Because of some comments in response to this article, I attach this addendum.

My little brother and I were very close. Our life as children was not easy because of an
abusive mother. We slept on a bunk bead in the same room. We spent our days making paper
army tanks and paper airplanes and playing army on the floor in that bedroom.

When I was in my 20’s, my little brother was hit by a car while riding his motor cycle.
He was placed on a life-support machine and they put his limbs back together with metal
rods. He had very little brain activity. My father asked me “when we should take him
off the life-support machine?”

My little brother and I were very close. After his death, I asked myself, why am I still
alive? I should be dead too. I felt like my right arm had been ripped off. Over the next
year I experienced every kind of physical malady you can think of, from hemorrhoids to
severe back pain. I was a physical and mental wreck.

One sunny summer day while I was sitting by the lake behind my house, I felt a warm breeze
on my face and I felt sad because my little brother could no longer experience a warm summer
breeze. Then my little brother spoke to me. Not out loud, but through thought.

He told me that he did still exist, like a spirit, and that he would be watching over me.
He told me that I should not be sitting there morning his death, because he would live
through me. My little brother never graduated high school. He told me to go to college,
be successful, and experience life for both of us.

I did go to college, earned a bachelors degree in computer science, and became the manager
of an engineering department. I like to hike in the mountain park behind my house and
in beautiful natural places like the Grand Canyon. While hiking and enjoying the beauty
of earth, I sense my little brother looking out through my eyes, and feeling the warm
summer breeze through my skin.

Think about the loved one you lost. Would they want you to spend your life morning their
death, or would they tell you to enjoy life while you still have it? It’s okay to remember
them, but when you do, ask yourself what would they want you to be doing. Would they want
you to spend your days in sadness, or they would want you to move on and enjoy life? Who
knows, maybe they still exist and are still enjoying life - through you.

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Falling Out Of Love With Wholesale Warehouse Discount Club Stores

June 23, 2008

I used to love the thought of going to the local wholesale warehouse club, where the products are stacked up to the warehouse ceiling and the shopping carts are brimming with rolls of toilet paper and cases of cheese snacks. Where else could you pay a memberbership fee of a thirty or forty dollars per year and have access to products by the caseload at a discount?

After joining such a club I realized that not all the prices were cheaper than the non-membership store just across the street. So we decided to shop carefully and only buy those items that were cheaper. Of course, we also ended up buying in quantities that we didn’t need. So, when we did find bargains, we ended up with a supply that would last us a couple years.

After adjusting our shopping strategy at the warehouse club to take into account our need to be aware of the higher prices and inconvenient packagaging, we realized another thing. It’s not convenient to stand in line with three items, when everyone else ahead of you has their carts overflowing with merchandise. It’s clear that not everyone cares about actual value and some folks only want perceived value (you know, a case of maple syrup at a 3 cent discount). So, we soon tired of standing in lines for our handful of items.

We decided that if we were going to get only the best value items in the quantities that suited our lifestyle, that we would only need to make a few trips every couple of months so that we could get everything we wanted without spending all that time standing in line several times per month. But guess what happened? We noticed that each time we’d go in for items on our list that the items sometimes wouldn’t be carried anymore. We’re not talking about items being out with an empty space on a shelf. We’re talking about something else is placed where that item was and the store employees telling us they don’t carry it right now, and that we should fill out a comment card if we want to get the items back in stock.

With items on our list not being in stock, we still found ourselves standing in line with a handful of items - instead of the cartful we’d planned on.

It’sfrustrating enough realizing our membership wasn’t buying us much more a few well-packaged, well discounted products - combined with long lines and a parking lot that would make most race car pit crews shudder in fear.

Wholesale warehouse shopping clubs almost seem designed for those who don’t discriminate on price, who love inconvenience and inconsistency in product availability, and who want to build their afternoon or evening around a shopping trip to a single store.

Why would people build their shopping lifestyle around that type of shopping experience? Perceived value?

It doesn’t make sense for my household to change our shopping style (as we had attempted) to fit the wholesale warehouse club retail format if it turns out to not work for us. It may make sense for yours.

We were at dinner with some friends of ours when they told us about an online discount club with a huge variety of products and a very modest membership fee. I was expecting more caseloads of cheese snacks and a hundred dollar membership fee - but that’s not what they showed us.

What we saw was a membership fee less than the local warehouse club, and products that was need and use every month - orderable online and delivered to our door - without putting shopping cart dents in our car.

We checked it out. We signed up. We tried it out for several months. And every since our shopping life gets easier.

Now every month I make my shopping list online through our online membership. For the first thirty days of the month I build my online shopping list whenever it’s convenient for me, and shortly after the first of the next month we find packages at our door. The next month it’s the same.

It’s the opposite of the old bricks and mortar warehouse club - it takes me less time to make it work for me. It works around my shopping style, rather than forcing me to change my lifestyle to find the right bargains and most convenient time to go to the store.

Yes, I can still get a case of rolls of toilet paper and cheese snacks - but I never stand in line, I never have to lug my purchases through the parking lot in the rain or snow, and I never have to worry about finding new door-dings on my car.

The biggest benefit of membership in this club is convenience. And with life being as busy as it is for us - I have fallen in love with having my shopping list only a few mouse clicks away from completion.

About The Author

C.S. Deam is a small business owner. His eBook Leverage Yourself Out of the Rat Race is available for immediate download at www.LinkertonPublishing.com where you can sign up for FREE E-Courses and Newsletters to help you on your path to self-employment.

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Indoor Winter Fun

June 23, 2008

Tell the cold weather to take a hike, and get ready to have some fun!

* Winter Beach Party

Bring that fun-in-the-sun feeling into your home with a winter beach bash. Spread beach towels on the living room floor; wear your swimsuit and a pair of flippers (why not?); feast on hot dogs; make castles out of clay and play- dough; and don’t forget to take pictures!

* Winter Word Race

Challenge your friends and family to a race of the minds. Set a kitchen timer for one minute. When the time starts, write down as many winter-related words as you can think of. The winner gets a cup of hot cocoa and the chance to choose the next word race topic.

* Balloon Drop

Who doesn’t love a good balloon game? Arrange players in a circle and have them number off. The player with the highest number is “It”. “It” stands in the center of the circle, and calls out a number while dropping an inflated balloon. The player with that number must catch the balloon before it reaches the floor. If the player catches the balloon, “It” calls another number. But if the balloon touches the floor, then that player is “It” and the game continues.

About The Author

Deborah Shelton is a mother, freelance writer, and author of the brand new book, “The Five Minute Parent: Fun and Fast Activities for You and Your Little Ones.” Visit Deborah’s website for more family-friendly ideas: http://www.fiveminuteparent.com; [mailto:deborah@fiveminuteparent.com]deborah@fiveminuteparent.com

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